Life Is For The Living
by Kayleigh Megan
Summary: Clarke and Lexa post 307 in a universe where Lexa didn't die for no reason. No spoilers just something of my own imagination.
1. Chapter 1

**I wanted to give back to the Clexa community because it totally sucked how things happened, and so I started writing yesterday and feel like I have a story to tell. It won't be very pretty but at least Clarke and Lexa still have the chance to be together (and you know I will make sure they will have a happy ending!) I'm not sure when I'll be updating again because my life is super busy right now but I definitely will!**

* * *

There was just a moment where everything felt like it belonged, where I felt happy.

It was the first moment ever since we landed on Earth and I didn't want to move or open my eyes.

The warmth pressed against my back made me feel safe, and even though I know for a fact that the moment I moved, she'd wake up, I couldn't stop myself from breathing out in total bliss.

"This is not going anywhere."

It was like she'd read my mind and I slowly turned in her arms, her hand finally resting on my stomach and her face showing everything she was feeling.

"How do you know?"

"I just do, Clarke." She smiled, a bright and wide smile. One of the first I've seen from her.

"I hope you're right, _Heda_." I closed my eyes again and sighed. "You know I have to leave."

"I know."

Lexa was a star in not letting emotions show and after that short moment of complete openness from her, I had expected her to close off.

It was better that way.

She pulled her arm back and lay on her back, her eyes focused on the ceiling.

"We'll see each other again." My words were soft and even though I meant it as reassurance, it came out as more of a question than anything else.

Lexa turned her head and gave me one of those tight lipped smiles before she nodded. "I'm sure we will."

I sat up, my mind racing as I tried to think of a way to get back the Lexa that was just here.

"Hey," I said. turning around, "we'll be right here again very soon. I mean, you were awesome."

She chuckled, but that was it.

"You should go, Clarke. Octavia is waiting for you..." She sat up and looked at me. The openness was back but only partially.

She was protecting her heart.

"I know."

I slowly got up and searched for my clothes and behind me, I could hear Lexa do the same.

When we were both done, I turned toward her and realized that even unconsciously, we gravitated toward each other.

"When you get to the Ark, tell one of my warriors that I kept you here longer. They will let you in without a fight."

Lexa was already thinking of a way to give me safe passage and here I was, hoping I could kiss her one last time.

Her lips looked so damned inviting.

"Okay," I whispered as I stared at her lips. When, after a moment we both hadn't moved, I looked into her eyes and smiled, trying to convey everything I was feeling. "You know, I-"

Lexa nodded, and I could see she was ready to let me leave. But before she could take a step back, I captured her lips in a kiss, a goodbye kiss that wasn't goodbye.

And I wished I could stay there instead of going back to the Sky people.

I could still feel her on my body as I packed my stuff into a bag. I should've done my packing much sooner but I wanted to see Lexa one last time.

And I'm glad that I went to see her.

* * *

There was a knock on the door and before I could react, Titus strolled in and closed the door behind him.

He always gave me the chills. He was a sneaky man, saying one thing and doing another. But he'd always be there for Lexa and I knew she trusted him.

And so is try to trust him too.

"What do you want, Titus?"

He shrugged before making his way over to me. "She used you, you know?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Heda, she used you, and now she's done with you. You should stay away. You won't like what happens if you return."

It was a thinly veiled threat that I didn't even want to take seriously. I would know if Lexa had used me, and it sure didn't feel that way.

"Go away."

As he left, I didn't think about how easy it had been to get him to leave. I didn't bother taking notice of his threat.

* * *

"I told you to come at dawn," Octavia snarled as I made my way over to her. The horses were ready to go and so was she. Apparently, she'd been waiting.

"Titus came to see me." The lie rolled off of my lips easily but she believed me. I could see it on her face.

We both mounted quickly, and I could feel my body protesting. The couple of hours spent in Lexa's bed had been intense and I could feel muscles in places I didn't know could hurt.

"What did he want?" Octavia asked as we hurried to the Ark.

"He wanted to warn me, to make me see that it was better to never come back to Polis." I looked at the disbelief on Octavia's face and smiled. "It's fine, he's just trying to protect his Commander."

"How dare he though? I know that Lexa asked you to come back, even to stay." Octavia gritted her teeth and her jaw jumped.

"Don't worry, Octavia."

"Oh I'm not worried, I'm angry." She shook her head and muttered something else but I didn't hear what it was, and I didn't bother asking about it.

We rode the rest of the way to the Ark. The two warriors following us were silent too as they scanned the surroundings. I didn't think that was for us so much as for them, because whenever they'd look our way, there was hatred in their eyes.

And I didn't blame them.

* * *

Five miles outside the gates, Octavia stopped her horse.

"Are you sure? With Pike as chancellor you're bound to get some heat for staying with Grounders."

"Are you? You're going to get some heat too," I said with a tight smile. I wasn't scared of Pike, I wasn't afraid of what was to come. Something had to happen and I was sure that it would happen soon.

"True. Well, let's face the fire."

* * *

The Warriors stopped following us as we continued our way. It was too dangerous for them with the Sky people wanting to kill all Grounders and as Octavia and I moved toward the gates, I felt like it was too dangerous for us too.

For a moment I wished I'd turned back to Polis earlier, but I pushed down the feelings and went on. This was the only way and the only place for me right now.

I felt rather than saw the doubt in Octavia's step, otherwise so confident.

The gates opened, and we dismounted our horses. I didn't want my people to have more resources to try and kill Grounders.

Knowing the way the Warriors trained their horses, I slapped both of them on they're back and watched them gallop off, back to Polis or even somewhere else. It didn't matter to me, as long as they wouldn't get within the gates of Arcadia.

Octavia grinned at me before she turned to the guards, waiting for a pat down because she knew, she wasn't allowed weapons. I followed her lead, expecting everything they did, from the pat down to the cuffing.

"You know, there will be a time when you can be free again but right now with Pike, we can't let that happen."

The guard, I didn't know his name, looked apologetic and I shrugged.

I kept quiet as we were led into the holding cells, and noticed Octavia's anger and hurt when she saw Bellamy as he opened the doors to our cell.

"Are you okay?" Bellamy looked at Octavia but she turned her head and ignored his question. He looked so dejected when he closed the doors that I almost told him not to worry, but I didn't.

He was a traitor as much as I was.


	2. Chapter 2

**It's kind of funny, but super awesome how fast this story had so many alerts and follows. Thank you all! I hope I can do it and your hopes justice. Also, thanks for those reviews! I don't like to be cliche and say they helped, but they did!**

* * *

We'd been locked up for the longest day and night.

At first all I could do was stare at the doors in hope someone would walk in. Even if it was to bring us to Pike.

But when, by the time night fell, no one had shown up, I slowly drifted off because I'd been awake for at least twenty four hours.

Octavia was silent, she didn't bother saying anything because what was there to say? We'd surrendered but we hadn't given up.

There was something of an unspoken plan between us. The first one to be taken to Pike would try to kill him. Just so that we could leave Arcadia.

I knew Octavia was also planning on confronting her brother. He'd hurt her just as much as Pike hurt me, because he was keeping her away from her love too.

When I woke up, it was still dark outside and so I sat there, staring unblinking into the darkness and I plotted my revenge.

I kept telling Lexa that blood must not have blood, and she listened but I knew that it was hard for her. Pike and his men killed at least three hundred of her people and she, and the other eleven clans, wanted to see blood.

And so either Octavia or me would give it to her. Even if I had to take his head to her, to prove it.

But someone had to come get me first and the wait was excruciating.

* * *

"Clarke?"

Octavia's voice cut through the silence and I hummed, waking up from a light sleep. I hadn't expected to fall back asleep again but when I opened my eyes I could see that the sun was shining into the holding cell.

"Octavia?"

"Bellamy was here earlier," she whispered. "He wanted to help me escape because he knew what Pike was planning to do and he was scared."

I hated to state the obvious, but she was waiting for me to say something and so I did. "You didn't go."

"I...even with the thought of finally finding Lincoln I couldn't do it."

"You want justice...I get that." I sighed as I shifted, my body making me painfully aware of having been in the same position for a long time. My hands were still tied behind my back and my shoulders hurt like hell but I wasn't going to say anything or ask for anything.

"I'm sure you do," Octavia said and I looked her way. She hadn't sounded like she was being sarcastic. "I mean, you and Lexa...there's more to that than anyone knows."

I couldn't stop the smile when she mentioned Lexa's name. "Not as long as I'm in here and she's out there."

"You'll get back to her. I promise you, one way or another you'll see her again."

* * *

I didn't know how long it took for them to finally come and get one of us.

But when they came, they brought food even though it was minimal and we had to share. I didn't mind, I wasn't even that hungry.

There was only one thing I was sure of, and that was that I just wanted this to be over.

Octavia handed me a piece of bread and I ate it thoughtlessly. She watched me as she ate but before we could finish our breakfast, they came back to get us.

"Get up," Bellamy snapped at me, and I raised an eyebrow as I stood to my feet. I swayed but steadied myself quickly.

It still got to me when Bellamy acted so cold and dark, but this was the Bellamy that set foot on the ground the first time. It had only been a little while but this Bellamy was the one that I definitely hadn't missed.

"Fucking asshole." Octavia spit on the ground in front of Bellamy and he looked at her in surprise, as if he didn't know how much he'd hurt his sister. I was almost a hundred percent sure that he thought he was only trying to save her from pain, and he didn't really see that he was the one causing her pain.

He didn't say a word as he pushed me toward the doors. Even though he tried to look and act tough he was surprisingly gentle. He held me but not too tight to hurt me. He pushed me but not too hard so that I wouldn't stumble anymore.

It just took me a while to notice, and by the time that I did, we were already outside the doors of Pike's offices. I turned toward him, trying to get him to look at me but he was stubbornly looking away from me.

The doors opened and I could see Pike sitting on top of his desk. He looked smug, as if he had caught us single handedly. I wanted to beat that look off of his face, but I kept calm and watched him as he stood, trying to look intimidating but just failing.

Octavia though, she chuckled and winked at me. She was so confident in everything and it felt like she was over confident sometimes. But this time, she would find the way to hurt him. She had already made a plan, I could see it in her eyes.

And I was afraid that Pike could see it too.

"Close the doors," he said as he made his way over to Octavia and me. He stared at us as the doors closed and I stared right back at him. Octavia though, she ignored him.

Bellamy stayed in the room with us and for the first time since I came here, I was glad that there was someone other than Pike in the room with us. He stayed by the doors but I could see the tension in his arms as he watched the scene in front of him.

"You spent a lot of time with the Grounders. You are the feared Wanheda...Commander of Death isn't it?" He grinned at me before grabbing me by the shoulders and shaking me. It was an act of frustration. "You're practically a Grounder yourself and you dare to come into my camp!"

He pushed me away and because my arms were still tied behind my back I had no way of keeping myself from falling. I slammed into the wall behind me and even though I was lucky enough that it kept me up, my head followed soon after my body and the blow was enough to make me see two Pikes instead of one.

My head started pounding soon after but I didn't show him that I was in pain. He wouldn't win this fight and he definitely wouldn't win this war.

Pike turned to Octavia but didn't say a word. He just snarled at her and turned to Bellamy. "Get your sister out of here. I want to have a talk with Clarke alone."

Octavia shook her head. "Nope, not going to happen."

When Bellamy tried to lead her out of the room, she struggled and grunted out several insults at both her brother and Pike.

"Go, Octavia. I'll be fine." I said with a nod of my head. She stopped struggling to look at me and Bellamy took that time to push her out of the room gently. Before the doors even closed she was fighting again, but it was no use because she had lost.

I turned to Pike, not even expecting him to have moved but when I saw that he had moved to stand right in front of me it took a lot to keep my appearance calm and collected.

"How about we have that talk?"


	3. Chapter 3

**I forgot with the first upload but thank you for the awesome reviews!**

* * *

I was able to kill a man three times my size, using only my hands.

But as I looked around the office, there were too many surfaces he could use to his advantage and it would only result in getting myself hurt.

So I waited. I waited and I watched him watch me. At first I thought he wasn't going to do anything yet, but after having sent Octavia away I knew that he was planning to do something.

I mean, the man was a coward, killing 300 people while they were unguarded and asleep. He tried to be intimidating, but it didn't work.

"They say you've killed a lot," he started and I stared at him, "but you don't look like much right now."

"I-"

He strode over to me and hit me, "I could beat you up before you're even ready to do anything," he hit me again and again.

Before, I had decided not to do anything but my instinct took over. I had already slowly loosened the rope around my hands and so when I pulled them out and slammed my fist into his cheekbone, I felt good.

It felt good to hurt the man who had hurt me more than he could imagine.

Before he could recover I hit him again, and I snarled. "You had me tied up, thinking it would keep you safe?"

"Oh I don't need you tied up to be safe, Clarke." He knocked on the door and when it opened, my mom walked in with a guard. "I know what keeps you in line. If you dare to do something, it's not going to be you who's going to be hurt. It's your mother, it's Raven...it's Bellamy."

I stared at my mom and I could see a bruise forming. Had she been standing outside with the guard? Had they heard everything? I could feel my body start to shake with rage as I glared at Pike.

"What is it that you want?"

"I want the Commanders head on a silver platter. She's going to die and so is the coalition." He grinned. "And I'm going to be the new head of those pathetic Grounders. Defy me and die."

There was nothing I could say so I didn't even bother with a reply. He had set me up to fail and I was sure that there was still a way, but not at that moment.

There was a moment of silence as Pike watched me for a reaction. When it didn't come, he sighed.

"Can we finish this conversation?" My mom sounded bored but I could see the fear in her eyes and the guilt crashed into me. She was scared because I had brought her in danger. I needed to change that.

"Take her back to her station, and get Bellamy here to take Clarke back to her cell."

Pike turned his back on all of us and I knew that he was confident enough that I wouldn't do anything to him. I wish I was brave enough to kill him now that he had his back toward me.

It wasn't long before Bellamy came and took me back to my cell and that's when I noticed that I wasn't sharing one with Octavia anymore.

"Where is Octavia?"

"That's not your business," he said harshly. Then he turned toward me and sighed. "She um...fought and one of the men with me decided that she needed to spend some time alone."

I frowned at him and again he sighed. He didn't say a word and just waited until I stepped into the cell. He looked at me apologetically before closing the doors and when I heard the lock click, I knew I was going to be alone for a long time.

* * *

When the doors opened not an hour later, I was surprised. But I think I was more surprised to see Raven walking in.

She looked different.

"Raven?"

Raven grinned at me and gestured for me to do something, get up. "Come on, Octavia is waiting. They are planning to make an example out of the two of you and I think it's better if you two make an example out of Pike."

"Why are you helping?"

She shrugged as she led me through the empty hallways of the ark.

"Why wouldn't I? Pike is ruining everything we worked for before they came along. We had a thing going with the Grounders and the Commander."

I noticed again that whenever we turned a corner, there was no one in the halls. It was like they were all gone, but I was sure that wasn't the case.

"Seriously though, where is everyone?" I asked Raven after another turn and still no guard in sight.

"They're having some trouble with some of the equipment," she grinned as she spoke. "Someone did something to the guns and they are working on fixing it. Apparently, they are so stupid that they need every person on this stupid Ark to help. Also, they might be kind of locked up in the armory."

When we were finally outside of the Ark, I took a deep breath. I knew where I wanted to go, but it was going to be hard considering the ring of Grounder warriors around camp.

"So you broke Octavia and me out but where are we supposed to go? I mean, we're kind of in quarantine so there's not really anywhere that we can go to be safe from Pike and the Grounders."

"I figured you'd find a way for them to let you through." She said as she shrugged.

"I might," I said as an idea began to form in my head. Between Octavia and me we would find a way, maybe we could get one of the Grounders to go get Lexa, so that we could return to Polis.

* * *

Octavia was already waiting for us when we got to the gates. A while back she had found an opening in the gate somewhere between the front and the back and she had made it so that we could get out but no one would really know where we left.

"Hurry up, we don't have all day." She jumped from one foot to another as I climbed through the opening. Raven waved before quickly walking away, probably to be the savior of all those guards locked in the armory.

"So I was kind of thinking of trying to go back to Polis." I looked at Octavia for a reaction other than a nod, but she didn't show me what she thought of it. She just started walking.

We had walked about a mile in silence before she finally spoke. "We could send a message to Heda. Or Indra."

"We could do both. But first we have to make sure that the Grounders don't kill us." I breathed in deeply as I tried to figure it out. Lexa had ordered them to kill anyone that tried to leave and I was sure that most warriors would shoot first and ask questions later.

* * *

We didn't really hurry as we made our way to the first line of Grounders. They were scattered, hidden but not too well.

Anyone trying to leave Arkadia would know that they were there, so that they might still have time to decide to go back.

But Octavia and I weren't going back, and so we moved on. When the first Grounder saw us, he lifted his sword but didn't move toward us.

He waited.

"We need your help," Octavia called out and he lowered his sword, but only a little and he didn't move or speak. "We are outsiders, we don't belong with the Sky people and we need to talk to your _Heda_."

He shook his head, muttered something and then lowered his sword.

"I can't help you," he said in perfect English.

"Lexa will want to see me though. She'd rather we're safe than get killed...and that was what they were planning with us. We can't be safe with our people."

" _Heda_ Lexa said no one could come out." He raised his sword again.

The next seconds moved by so slowly. Someone walked up to us and from the corner of my eye I could see it was another Grounder, but this one didn't even bother looking at us as he moved toward his fellow warrior. I couldn't hear what was being said but the first Grounder sighed.

"Well?" Octavia asked as he put away his sword.

"You are _Wanheda_ and even knowing what _Heda_ said I know she would want to see you," he said to me. He turned to Octavia. "I don't care about you."

"She's with me, so she'll come along."

"As you wish, _Wanheda._ "

Even though I hated the name they had given me, I was glad that it still had some weight with them. It was what had just gotten us a safe passage to Polis.


	4. Chapter 4

The Grounder's name was Isaiah. That's all I learned from the trip to Polis. He had taken both Octavia and me on his own because no one was supposed to leave the lines of the five miles but because of my name he had decided to guide us.

I think he also wanted credit for this, but who was I to judge?

All I wanted was to return to Lexa and have a sit down with Octavia so that we could plan our next move. There was no way that we could stay in Polis, we just needed safe passage.

No matter how much I wanted to believe that Lexa would let us stay, I knew it wasn't a good idea. Even though I'd stayed in Polis for a while, the people from the Ark messed up and everyone was paying for it.

So Octavia and I would have to leave Polis until our leader was dead and I wasn't planning on taking too long to figure out how to do it.

"Wait here. If you move, there will be at least a hundred warriors inside who also have the order to kill on sight. You were lucky." Isaiah glared at us as he backed away and then he turned and walked into the building.

I hadn't even noticed we were already there. Which was weird because it wasn't just any building, and it sure as hell wasn't quiet around us.

Octavia was tense as we waited but she kept quiet and I looked around the busy village. The people were happy and they were showing it, they felt safe there.

That's how life should be.

Isaiah didn't return. But Lexa came outside and the frown on her face was enough to set me on edge. She looked angry and when she stopped right in front of us, I could see she was worried.

"What are you doing here?"

"They were going to execute us for show. We weren't any safer there than we were here." I said, my voice just slightly shaking. I didn't know how she would react but I hadn't expected her to look like she wished we didn't come.

"Pike needs to die, Clarke and I are going to make sure of that. But we can't do it when we're locked up. We just need a way to move around camp without your people killing us on sight."

Octavia was braver than I was.

"Octavia. Go see Indra and tell her she needs to help you become one of us. Clarke...follow me." She didn't wait for a response but turned around and walked into Polis.

Octavia left me standing alone, while she went in search of Indra.

I knew where Lexa was going. So I followed her, my hands shaking even though I knew I didn't have to be afraid.

* * *

Lexa's room. It was at the top of the tower which meant a lot of steps had to be taken. I was in a state of mind to ask Raven to fix the damn elevator in this tower so it didn't take ages for me to get to her.

I had already wasted precious time with Lexa doubting my feelings and trying to figure out what to do with them, and now I had to waste even more time walking up those steps.

But it gave me time to think. Think about all the things that I wanted to say and everything that I needed to say so that she'd help me.

"Why'd you come here? Knowing I couldn't do anything to help?"

She sat at the foot of her bed with her eyes closed when I finally got to her room. She couldn't have been there much longer but she looked like she had been sitting there for ages.

I sounded like I had run a marathon, out of breath.

"Because you can help. You can make sure Octavia and I can roam around the Ark and form a plan, so that we can finally nail that bastard to the wall."

She opened her eyes after what seemed like an eternity but when she looked at me, she looked calm but determined.

I liked that look in her eyes.

"We want peace right? Peace between our clans and especially peace between us. How are you going to kill your commander?"

I shrugged because I didn't know. "Octavia and I will find a way."

"I don't trust Octavia." She stood to her feet and made her way over to me. "But you do. Right?"

I nodded. "Yes. She's just trying to do the right thing for her and her brother."

"I will see what I can do. Maybe...maybe I could let one of my warriors follow you for safety. But you do have to leave first thing in the morning. You understand, right?" She was trying to be both the commander and the woman she'd been with me before I left but it didn't work.

All I saw was the woman I loved.

When I realized what I had thought, I felt my heart skip a beat. Sure, I knew I liked her very much, but I never thought I would love her. But I did with all of my heart.

"Thank you." My voice was barely a whisper but she heard me. She seemed as tuned into me as I was into her.

"I should..." She blinked as if trying to shake herself out of a daze.

It was in that moment that I decided that I didn't want our first time to be the last. I wanted to spend every waking moment with her even if it was frowned upon.

"Can we just...stay here for a while?" I asked before she could say anything. She stared at me, as if looking for something she couldn't quite figure out.

But then she nodded.

And my heart skipped a beat, before I leaned forward and captured her lips.

Lexa hadn't expected it. I could feel it in the way she softened against me only seconds later. She still had those walls, but I hoped with time they would drop when she was around me.

Especially when we were alone.

* * *

 **I'm doing this here because I didn't want to spoil but I'm cutting this short here, shorter than the others because I want to not skip over anything and you know...**


	5. Chapter 5

**I decided that before things happened you needed some insight in what happened while Clarke was gone, and what Lexa had been having to deal with. More to come about that, this is just a start and I hope that it helps you understand more about her reaction to Clarke's return in the previous chapter. Thank you for the reviews!**

* * *

 **Lexa's POV**

* * *

There were problems in Polis.

My people didn't want me as a commander anymore. They thought my feelings for the commander of the sky people were clouding my judgement.

They weren't wrong.

My feelings for Clarke had been in the way of my job. I had let her talk me into peace and her people killed three hundred of mine. They were still going at it even though I had been lenient.

I wanted to give Clarke and her people time to set things right by killing their commander themselves. Most of my people saw Clarke as the leader of the sky people and so they blamed her for this war but she had absolutely nothing to do with it.

That didn't change their minds. I was weak for letting her get to me.

And so I had tried to create distance. I had tried to shut down my feelings for her, because letting them see my feelings would only make their beliefs stronger.

There were twelve clans behind me but that would not last long if I showed them that I loved Clarke.

They would help me as long as I kept her at a distance.

It was easier when she wasn't in Polis. The leaders of the twelve clans didn't have to see my feelings as long as she wasn't here.

But then she showed up only two days after she had left and I wanted to run to her, jump in her arms, kiss her. I knew I was being watched. I kept my distance, and I knew I must have hurt her with that. But there was no other way for me, for us.

She kissed me slowly and even though it was gentle, it was also demanding and searching.

She pulled back after a moment, and searched my face for clues.

I had given in. I had given in to the kiss and I wished I hadn't. My mind and body weren't in sync.

"What happened?" She asked, her voice soft, her eyes burning into mine.

"We can't..." It was one of the hardest things to say. I didn't want to hurt her. I wanted her, mind, body and soul.

"Why not?" She frowned at me and I looked down, breaking eye contact just because I couldn't look her in the eyes and say anything.

"The clans...they think me weak."

"Because of me?" She sounded angry and shocked but she kept her cool as she slowly backed away. I glanced up to see the hurt flashing across her face.

"Because of my feelings for you." I moved with her, toward her. "I want you. With everything in me, I want you. There's not a day that I don't miss you, there is not a moment that I want to hurt you."

"But you can't be with me? You can't let them know your feelings for me? What happens when you do show them?"

"They will want me gone." I swallowed as I stepped closer. "Clarke..."

"They'll kill you?" She asked, again her shock hitting me. "Why would they?"

"Clarke, love is weakness. I told you this before. It's weakness in everyone's eyes and I can't-" I cut myself off as I thought of what I wanted.

Was being commander so important to me? Did I want to lose the love of my life over being a leader? Maybe I should let them choose another commander.

"What?" 

I shook my head. "I don't know. I don't know what to do." I felt helpless, defenseless. She broke down my walls within seconds even after I worked on building them for two days.

"You...I think you should do what you think is best." She turned and made her way over to the door before turning back to me. "Come find me when you know what the plan is."

She left, and I made my way over to my bed before sinking down on it.

My feelings were all over the place, but the one thing I was sure of was that I hated seeing the hurt look on Clarke's face before she left the room.

* * *

"As of now, Clarke and Octavia of the sky people will need free roaming rights to plan and execute the leader of their people, Pike. We need to make sure that they stay safe because we need this peace."

I stood in front of twelve men, all ready to throw me off of the throne and watched them closely. Titus stood beside me and I knew he could protect me but it still made me a little nervous.

"Why would we do that? They killed more than three hundred of our people and you keep giving them space to kill more!"

"We need to give them time to find a way to kill or capture their leader, we can't go in there and kill everyone. They are people too. They need peace just as much as we do." I looked around, making eye contact with each and every one of them. "You want me gone. But let me prove to you that I'm not letting my feelings guide me into weakness. They are actually leading me to be strong, because I want the best for the coalition. I want the best for my people because they deserve that. Because of my feelings, I see what I need to do to give them the best."

They were silent for the longest time and Titus shifted next to me. I kept quiet and watched the faces in front of me. The shocked and angry and disgusted faces.

But then each and every one of them nodded. It was a beautiful sight.

"We agree?"

"On one condition."

The words cut through the silence and I simply stared at the man who'd spoken.

"We want peace. But we also want justice. _Heda_ , you have tried your best but we still don't have peace and we still didn't get our justice. I want a vote...we give you one last try and after that...you step back and let someone else take over."

"How dare you-" Titus growled but I raised my hand to silence him.

"You want me to step down? Once I know for sure that Clarke and Octavia and the other sky people are safe when someone else takes over. I also want to have the final say in who takes over."

They glanced around, and all twelve nodded unanimously. "After the leader of the sky people is dead, we have trials. We each pick someone to replace you, and you will decide who will be the next _Heda._ "

"Agreed."

* * *

"Did you just agreed to step down for me?"

Her voice made me jump. I turned and looked at her face, her eyes red from crying but shining with hope.

She had been sitting in my bedroom, on my bed when I came in, and I hadn't even seen her.

I knew it had been a risk going to the leaders of the twelve clans to get them to agree to keep Clarke and Octavia safe.

But after all the hurt in my life and in that of Clarke's, I decided that enough was enough. We deserved better and so, even though it meant I had to step down, I would take that risk.

I slowly made my way over to her. "We deserve more than what little time we had together. We deserve happiness and love and I know that I will be happy with you. Even though it means me stepping down and not being the _Heda_ anymore _._ I don'tcare about any of that if it means loosing you."

A tear rolled down her face and I stopped right in front of her. When I reached out to wipe the tear away, she put her hand over mine and smiled gently.

"That was a brave thing to do, Lexa."

"I don't know about that. My heart overruled my mind but I knew that I couldn't lose you no matter what." I swallowed, and then said what I didn't dare to say before. "I love you."

She pulled me down, kissing me hard as I lost my balance and fell on top of her. She smiled into the kiss and as I took over, she moaned.

"I love you too."


End file.
